My Very Own Private Benjamin Saga

When I was in my younger twentys, I was an ER Technician. Basically, a nursing assistant who does everything a secretary does plus places physician orders into the computer. It was a great job...i loved it. Now, I will be the first to admit...I was a HORRIBLE secretary and I take my hat off to anyone who can do this job effecciently.
Everything seemed to be going along ok with this job until it was announced that the ER would be getting a new nurse manager. A new boss....hmmmmm.....this could be a good thing OR a bad thing.....for me it turned into a nightmare.
It turned out the new nurse manager was arriving from Kansas City. Her FIRST CIVILIAN JOB after having been in The United States Army for 20 years. I was skeptical to say the least...BUT I figured I would just do my job (to the best as i could) and hopefully she was atleast pleasant. I usually bond well with women......or so I thought.....when she arrived into the ER she was all about change...she entered like a bull into a china shop......I being the FIRST red cape she spotted.
One day, she (Barbara) came over to my desk with various hospitol forms in hand and asked

Barbara: "Do you know where these are kept?"
Me: "No I do not"

So she went to the next form asking the same question....and me again repeating the above. Finally after asking the same question for the third form and retrieving the same response once again from me of "No...I do not" she looked at me rather blankly and stated
"I know you should have been a blonde".

My first thought was "Oh no this bitch didn't just go there with me???!!!" So, I looked at her rather smugly and replied.

"Well, blonde IS about the only color I have never been....you know you should think about possibly doing something different with YOUR hair...Mousy brown is so out you know"

Another time, while moving the waiting room furniture out to the loading dock to get reupolstered before state inspection we had this encounter....

We had lifted the couch and were on our way to the loading dock with it. She carrying one end and I the other. She was used to lifting up heavy shit and having to walk 500 miles with it....but not my fat ass!!!!.
She was walking so fast she was literally dragging me down the hall. Finally, after debating to say anything I said
"You got to hold up a minute and let me fix my wrist another way...its about to break off"
She turned and said
"Well.....it's been limp since I first met you"

I was dumbfounded.....she was egging me on like nobody ever has so I looked at her in the eye and said.

"Maybe that's why I am happy and YOU aren't....I'm not afraid to say who and what I am."
I found myself in a Party For Lauging.....of One. Just me....she didnt find it humorous.
We deposited the couch and she instructed me to report BACK to the ER and stay there until she came for me.

This encounter led her going to the Human Resources dept and basically lie about me......what she didnt realize is that the majority of the physicians who I worked along side in the ER LIKED me. She stormed into the ER after her meeting with HR and literally began yelling at me.
Dr. Marilyn was sitting there and heard Barbara storm at me. Barbara stated "After the insubordination you exhibited to me this morning, I decided to discuss this with HR"
Dr. Marilyn went up to Barbara and said "IF you have ANYTHING to say to him.....you will take him into a private enviroment and discuss it AND if you cant control your voice or tongue better than THAT with him.....then you have NOTHING to say to him...do i make myself clear??""
Barbara stated..."Well....they wanted me to fire him.....BUT I have decided that I will only suspend him for Three days.."
I said "Well...of course you didnt fire me.......I figure having to come back in three days and look at you once again is PUNISHMENT enough"
I picked up my belongings and saw she was walking behind me..."What are you doing" I asked
"I'm escorting you to your car" she stated
"I drove here this morning...I know how to get to and from the hospitol just fine thank you very much....I have made this drive many times before you came.....and if you're going to walk me to my car.....YOU better make sure your not in my way when I back up. And btw, thanks for the mini vacation, I now have off Wed,Thurs,Fri AND.... this is my weekend off....You're the greatest". I was almost tempted to hug her.....but decided that wouldnt be the wisest of decisions.