I Thought That I Could Pull It Off

Today, I went and had an interview for Mosaic Tile working. I though that I seriously could do this. The pay is better than expected and what more of a "gayer" job could one want. So I thought anyway.

What I found out was that it was NOT an interview. Instead, it was a series of small tests.
The first, to look at a mosaic pattern, dinstinguish AND count the various shapes that you see. Almost a "Find Waldo" sort of thing. OK...I thought...no problem. I can do that.
The second thing was to "Build a mosaic tile" of sorts. This involved placing stones onto the cut out tile with a fifteen minute timed limit. Beside me laid a pair of hand held squeezer "tile cutters". That's when I KNEW this was going to be a disaster. TOOLS AND I DO NOT MIX!!!
It sent me back to the 8th grade. Where I was taking shop class. I didn't want to take the class BUT I thought I would make my father proud. Needless to say, it did NOT go well.
We were making a project. I had reached the stage of where I hand to "sand down" my wooden pieces. I journey to the sanding machine and turned it on. The speediness of the sander and the sound totally frightened me. So, with my fingers holding the edge of the block, I placed in against the sander. Scared, I moved my fingers . The piece of wood flew from the sander and went across the shop room. I of course, screamed. My teacher labeled me a "Hazard" to my classmates, him and myself. So, I spent the rest of the year sitting out from working machinery and writing from the text book.
Now.....here I am with a pair of tile cutter's. Sooooo not good. I picked the cutters up and placed a piece of mosiac in to cut. I squeezed the handles and SNAP!!!! One end shot across the table and the other fell down onto the table. The one guy sitting next to me doing the same "test" looked up at me and smiled. I laughed it off and told him "I guess people working with me will need to wear protective eye equipment."
After the fifteen minutes were up. The interviewer looked at mine and the other guys. He, of course, had cut various shapes,patterns AND tiled them. I stuck with the basic outline. Only applying squares that had been pre-cut. She said we were done and she would call us if we were selected for the next phase of the interview.

Debbie was waiting for me in my jeep. I told her how it went and that I was NOT expecting a return call. I also said "I am GAY, I am SUPPOSE to know how to do crafts. It usually comes with the flair package of knowing how to do hair (Which I have a license for...but the money sucks), arranging flowers (Which I can do) and decorating (Not bad at, thanks to *TRADING SPACES). Debbie looks at me and laughs "Well......just because you LIKE it...doesn't mean that you could or should do it." At times, I am so not worthy of the title "Gay."