My Worst Dating Expierence

Recently, a girlfriend of mine and I were talking about various things and the topic arose about our worst dating expierence and /or embarrasing moment. Bridgette, is totally conservative in most ways, so what she found to be her worst dating moment, I thought was more like an everyday expierence for my fat ass. LOL. So, I told mine.

It was my first date with this guy. I wanted to really try and impress him. He was cute, was a computer software engineer for IBM in D.C. and well.........cute!!!! So, I met him at his house and from there we went to dinner. I was already nervous to begin with, but when I found out we were going to a "classy" place to eat, i truly became nervous. I felt like Julia Roberts from "Pretty Woman". In my mind I began sorting through various things etiquettes, which fork to use for the salad and which for the meal, do i order wine with dinner or a soda beverage? I hate wine, but people are suppose to drink wine with fancy dinners, right? On and on i continued to think about things of this nature on the way to dinner.

Once seated, a huge weight lifted off my shoulder when he took the priviledge of ordering drinks. Much to my dismay it was wine, but i didnt say a word. I was intent on hooking this man. As i looked through the menu, i tried to read the names of these foods but couldnt even pronounce half of the shit. But, as the waiter came over, my date ordered dinner. For him, the filet mignon and for I he ordered (without consulting me first) the duck a' l' orange. He assured me it was the best thing there. I thought to myself "Then how come YOU didn't order it for YOUR dinner?" When it arrived to the table I became a bit concerened. But, after the first bite I was hooked. Dinner was great, Conversation was wonderful. As we walked back to his car that damn duck began to quack and bubble in my stomach--------and it was trying to "fly south" (if you catch my drift). As we were walking to his car, two friends of his called his name and they all began talking and conversing. He introduced me, I said "Hi" then told him i was going to go sit in the car because it was kind of "chilly outside". I am sitting in the car, trying not to let the duck go, especially with the windows rolled up. When he got in the car, his mood was light and I could tell he was not only happy to see these friends, but now since having paid for an expensive dinner, it was time for us to go back to his place and i would "repay". I smiled. He laughed. I laughed. He thought it was about to get busy. I thought i was about to bust!!!! We rode in silence for a few minutes until i just couldnt hold it in any longer. So, I turned the music up real loud, like the song on the radio was my all time favorite, rolled the window down and began to let the duck go.
At first it sounded like a slow tire leak, "Ssssssssssssssss", but then................Lord!!!!!!!!! The aroma kicked in. After a few moments, he started to get a whiff of the duck and tried to play it off, but it was bad. I was just satisfied that the duck and I had parted ways. But, he couldn't take it any longer, and with a scowl he said, "Daaaaammmmnnn, was that you?" "No," I said, It's that damn duck YOU ordered me." Aggravated, he shot back, "That's just nasty." "It may be nasty," I countered, "but boy, do I feel better now." So, needless to say, Once back at his place, I headed for my vehicle, he spent the night not "getting any" and I ALWAYS steer clear of duck.