Let's Discuss Betrayal Shall We

Having "Natalie" here and her present circumstances....discussions of betrayal in all forms have been major conversation pieces here at the house.

Being betrayed,unfortunatley is a lesson and at times a price we all have to endure from time to time in our lives. At some point we all have either had it done to us or it has been us who have committed the act against someone else. At some point in time, I have been both a victim to and the dealer of.

What makes one do it?? Is it part of human nature? After committing the act myself...did I feel pleasure and a sense of vengeance??? The answer quite simply.....is No...I did not.
When betrayal was done TO me...like anyone else...I DID, however, feel the pain.

When an act of betrayal is committed against you by someone you cared about...even loved...it's the sharpest sword in its case. Someone whom you have shared your dreams with, your laughter with and even your tears with has metamorphised into that very demonic image you have created in your mind as to what a betrayer looks like and/or is.

This past summer, when my Ex boyfriend Stephen and I were attempting to rebuild at least a friendship again......he admitted to me that he had engaged himself in a conversation about me with another.
His reason for coming clean he said is because he knows it was wrong and he knows that in his heart... I am not that person he wanted to create me to be. In some way,he wanted me to hurt as much as i had hurt him when i left and chose my drug habit over him. What did I do you may ask?????
I hugged him and kissed him. I forgive him...and I forgive the person he had spoken to me badly too. He needed to finally forgive me to. I truly did not mean to hurt him. Time heals all that hurt. As time passes....you lose minutes to your existance......and for me...with it...I lose the hurt of it all as well.

Can you trust the person again??? I think it depends on the circumstances really. Take for instance Mark and I. We have both agreed that we can forgive each other for anything done except one thing. That exception being if either of us had an affair. We both agree that this is the ultimate unforgiven act. The ultimate hurt. The ultimate heart break. The trust would be gone.....and if you don't have trust in a relationship anymore than you truly have nothing. It would always be in the back of each of our minds if we did attempt to try to move forward after something like that.

"Where is he??? He should have been home by now"
"What do you mean...you HAVE to work late again???"

ETC ETC

Neither of us could live a lifetime together that way. "Natalie" has decided this for herself as well. She wants to go ahead and begin her search for either an apartment to rent or a home. I wonder if this is to soon myself....But we all have different ways of coping and moving on and this is her way.